People say I'm always talking, which is true but do you pay attention to my tones and my body language? Just because I share my life and personal things, do you really know how I feel or what goes on behind closed doors?
It doesn't matter how much time I spend with my thoughts; at the end of the day I will always double think everything and feel bad for myself. And its crazy because I can say everything is okay, but is it really okay? Do you really know what is going on, even if I share my situation? No, because you don't know how I feel.
I felt anxious, disappointed, and stressed. I felt like I hated and loved myself. I felt like there's not enough time in the day, not enough money in the world to solve my problems. I felt like there's always some bullshit thing I have to deal with. I felt that if I bite my tongue I would save myself many arguments. I felt like if I laugh it out, it will get better. I felt that if I continue to do what society portrays, I will never be happy with myself again. I felt many feelings.
Now listen, I am truly okay.
Its life. Life is a constant roller coaster of ups and downs, positives and negatives. Life is what you take from it. You will never hear, "I had a horrible childhood or life" from me because its not true. I'm just like woah, this is how I got here in a "i made it" type of way.
I've grown so much, it amazes me. I know where I'm currently at in this moment in my life and I know the steps on how to go where I want to get too. Its been a long time coming, but I'm slowly getting there. Sometimes all you need is time and time is key. Trust the process and learn more about yourself.
I feel many emotions. I feel that if I do this right, I'll get there. I feel free spirited. I feel that the more productive I am the better I'll feel. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel motivated, powerful and fearless. I feel driven and dedicated to get to where I want too. I feel like I'm choosing the right path. I feel that if I put it out there it'll stick. I feel that you just have to look at positive side of life. I feel like I'm finding peace.
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Now I've had some time to reflect in the past couple months of not being active on my blog and I realized what I was doing wasn't for me. My previous blog posts was something I was trying too hard at and I loved doing them though that's the thing, but it did not define me, so my blog posts will be more "Go with the Flow" from now on. Thank you for understanding and supporting me on this transition.
Lizzy
